A Cute Disaster -

Sooo i fell asleep around 8ish ... and woke up around 12:30 ... and was really confused that it wasnt light out. Like super confused... looked around at different clocks n went n looked outside... I didnt get alot of sleep last night .. and the pills im taking right now have caffiene in them. I just crashed for a few hours.. Im going to a show with my grandma tomorrow at least ill be getting out of the house. i basically spent all day in my room cleaning and lounging... ive been lazy for the past couple days.. and its seriously taking its toll on my self esteem. tomorrow will be better hopefully... i just need some good rest. Ive been thinking about what to get people for christmas n what not. Usually .. i have pretty good ideas of what to get people. I have nooooo idea what to get john... or what to do for john...he works so much ..and so hard....i wish i could do somthing for him ..but i dont know what that would be ..hes putting me to shame thats for sure... hopefully a good idea will strike me soon. a little less than a week, ill be meeting his family. A tad nervous about that. Im sure that they are nice friendly people. i dont doubt that for a second... i just hope im not to painfully shy, so that its misconstrued as being unfriendly. Caleb got his hair cut today and it look soooo good. He said he was getting more than annoyed by people fussing over it, and making it a big deal. I think thats part of my problem with driving as well ... Neither caleb nor i like alot of attention, and i know people will make it a big deal when i do drive... i dunno .. i need to get over it ... or move somewhere i can walk everywhere lol." .......listen well will you marry me.. and are you well in the suffering.. the most gracious of hosts .. i may be invited girl but im not commin in...." sorry i had to break out into song.... I love being around john... but part of me feels guilty...that he has to come pick me up n take me out .. and hes done some thoughtful things like getting me chocolate and doughnuts :-) ....and i havent exactly gotten to do much for him. im hesitant to say things feel one sided, because its not as if i dont like him as much as he likes me or anything :-) ... but i guess getting to see eachother falls upon him because i dont drive. and i feel bad about that. what is my problem ? oi I had a really good time on monday and tuesday... and saturday for that matter. but gettin kinda dolled up n going downtown was fun :-).. im excited to walk around bricktown sometime. anyways ... enough of all this scattered thinking. I should try to go back to sleep. Good night .